Show some interest

Two different recent incidents prompted me to write about the topic of showing interest.

Sunday, Isaac and a friend his age were sitting in the church foyer. The friend's mother and I walked over to them at almost the same time. I greeted them and asked them what they were doing. Isaac said that his friend was telling him about a computer game called spore. The friend's mother tisked and rolled her eyes.

I was early to a gathering at a friend's house last week, so I sat their kitchen table and split my time between reading Tolkien's essay on fairy stories and laughing at my friends who are quite funny, especially when they cook. They asked what I was reading and I told them. I then tried to go on to tell them about it and they simply refused. I told them it had great spiritual applications and they were still totally uninterested.

Something Mama has always told us is that you show interest not because you care about the subject but because you care about the person. I probably would not have ever developed more than a passing interest in grammar, but Chloe loves it and Samuel had a difficult time with his college grammar class. That made me care about grammar. I'm learning a lot about grammar and I'm interested in talking about it with them, because I care about them. I am not interested in writing java programs and BonnieJean is not interested in politics, but we both will pay rapt attention to the subject for the other person's sake.

Back to the family at church...why did that lady think it was ok to show disdain for what her son was interested in? She may think she's making a statement about Spore or computer games in general, but the message she's sending is "My son is silly and inappropiate, because he cares about this." She would never tisk and roll her eyes at another adult. For some reason, people think it's ok to treat children as nonpersons.

As far as my friends go, I know they don't consider me unimportant or silly, but they do think it's ok not to care what I care about. I certainly don't expect casual aquaintances (sp?) to be willing to listen to whatever I want to talk about, but these were close friends. And it's not like I'm just didactic and wanted them to listen to me to talk. I think Tolkien's essay is a good thing to know and I think it's beneficial spiritually for Christians. I wanted to benefit them. They were both older than me, too, so I wanted their opinion on it because I value their opinion.

So, next time someone wants to tell you about turbo chargers or the inner political workings of the Star Wars Galactic Senate, show some interest.