Borrowing.

Yep, a lot of CCing today. :) This first one is from Chera's blog.

Right now I am feeling spiritually empty. I read my bible and pray daily, but for some odd reason my heart just hasn't been in it. My prayer's seem very repetitive and like they aren't going anywhere past my ceiling. And my devotions? It's like I do them out of a sense of duty - just one of those things that I need to do every day and get out of the way, like brushing my teeth. When shouldn't it be from a deep desire to know God better? I say and do all the "right things," but deep inside, it feels very dark. I don't know how to get out of this rut that I've put myself in.

Where did the fire go? Where is the passion that I once had? Where is the thirst? Where is the longing to dive into the word?

I am so selfish. It's always about me, me, me. I've had enough of that! I'm tired of fighting and struggling, trying to stand on my own. I don't want to worry about anything anymore. I just want to rest and trust completely in God, knowing that everything is in His hands and in His timing. I want to know God like I've never known Him before. I want to know His will for my life. I want to be the Christian that God has called me to be. I want the fire, the zeal, the passion. I want more of Jesus... Less of me.

Jesus, here I am again, asking for Your help to get out of this hole that I've dug myself into. Seems like I fall into this place way too often. I want to know you better. I want to bask in your presence and just to know that You are my God and that I am Your child. I'm tired of being in the dark and stumbling around blindly. Please, please shine Your light on me and illuminate my path with Your glory. I am so unworthy of You, but I need You more than anything else in the world. Nothing else can satisfy. Please help me not to get so caught up into this world and its troubles that I lose my love for You. Take all of me! Is there anyway that You can use me? Take my weaknesses, my strengths, my sins. Please, just turn my life around and help me to be the Christian that I so desperately need to be. I love You. Thank You Jesus... for everything! Amen.

And Liz and I had some comments that it now swears it can't find. But, here's a thread Liz started on the RI.

...it's way too quiet around here as of late. So I think I'll start a thread that may or may not actually get responses, because this has been on my mind lately anyway.

How many of you have found yourselves in a place, recently, where you just feel like you're "going through the motions" in your walks with God? Have you hit the point where you've realized that a lot of the fire you had not so long ago has burned down to a few smouldering embers? Have you found yourselves praying, "God, fan the fire into flames again, and help me rebuild that passion for You that is all-consuming".

I have. And I've been really tending to bounce between spiritual (and emotional) highs and lows lately too.

What do you do when stuff like this happens?

My reply...

Thanks for bringing this up, Liz! I think sometimes it's easy to let this part of our walk slip. It's kinda hard to explain to other people. You're not losing your faith, depressed, going through tough health/money/family issues, so what's wrong with you? Why do you feel so dead? Nothing has really changed from when you're doing good. You have the same church, same friends, same Bible to read. Why all of a sudden is it all boring and motions when before it was a face-to-face experience with God?

I read a lot of Psalms. David often felt like God had abandoned and David also made some really bad mistakes that distanced him from God.

I listen to Rest Easy and Sometimes I'm a Man of God by Audio Adrenaline.

I get close friends praying for me.

Have faith! If you ask God to set a fire in your bones, to show you His power, He always will. If you ask him to refine you, to point out your wrongs and help you conquer them, He will! You have to believe and be willing to change.

Note: Just because you're feeling spiritually lost or dark doesn't mean that you've messed up so God is punishing you by withdrawing His closeness. These valleys are always good for helping you 'clean house' but that's not neccesarily why you're in a valley.

I don't know how many times I've down the spiritual high, spiritual low bit. Seems like I have far too few highs and way too many lows. The lows aren't always the same and some are really deep. But God always seems 10x more marvelious after a valley.